User blog:Baluar/God Eater: Fall of the Heavens, epilogue part 2
This is not possible. Baluar was facing a challenge unlike any other, and his usual wits were nowhere to be found. He had no idea how to face the situation at hand, and was unnerved because he knew he had gotten himself into it. There was no one to blame but himself. -It's you and your big mouth to blame, Bal. - Nia commented. -I know that, sis'. - Baluar commented after sighing. - Don't make it any harder than it already is. My mind is already going at full speed and yet I've got nothing. -You've already done this in the past... sort of. - Nia encouraged. - Don't chicken out now. -I had help last time. -You're a grown boy now. Don't expect anyone to take you by the hand. -You're getting a kick out of this, right? You never had issues when dealing with people of the opposite gender. -Well, yeah. Kind of ironical, consider I'm even less talkative than you are. -You've got two big aids, though. Nia rolled her eyes. -Seriously? -I'm just pointing a fact. Tell me, am I not right? - Nia sighed heavily. - I thought so. Now, any actual advice? -Just... be yourself? I guess. I mean, no point in trying to be someone else if you're actually interested in spending a while with her. -Being myself hasn't worked that well in the past. - Baluar marked. -What are you asking advice for if you're going to refuse it immediately? Not that I'm angry or anything, but it's pretty damn stupid. -Eh, you're right. I'll just be myself. But what if there's nothing to talk about? I'm no good at bringing conversation up. -Then don't try to bring up conversation. You're not in a reunion, you're in a dinner. You don't have to speak all the time. Leave some time so you can eat, too. Or did you want to talk with your mouth full of food all the time? -Good point. I... have no more questions. Guess I'll have to think on the spot. -That's the spirit. Now go there and... have dinner? As Baluar left, Nia spoke to herself. -Damn. Am I that bad at saying something mildly motivational? ---- Baluar hadn't yet closed the door after he entered the Medical Bay when Lina spoke to him. -So, what's there for dinner, gallant hero? -I just come to the room and your first reaction is to poke fun at me? - Baluar faked tears. - Damn, I'm proud. -You know how the saying goes. If you can't beat them... -Join them. Yeah, I've heard that a million times. A second of silence passed before Lina spoke again. -So? -So what? -So... my point still stands. -Oh. Eh, milanesas. -Only milanesas? Don't get me wrong, I love them, but alone they are... -Milanesas and mashed potatoes. - Baluar replied. - Yes, I also lived in South America, though that was a veeeery long time ago. -What a romantic food. I'm going to end up a mess. -I said "I can cook", which does not translate to "I am a chef". -I said I'd end up a mess, I didn't say I wouldn't enjoy it. - Lina said, with an enigmatic grin that Baluar couldn't fully decipher. Baluar unravelled the packages in which he had taken the food (which was made by himself) and they began to eat. He ate in the bench for the visits, while Lina (whose only reason to stay there was that she was tired) obviously ate in her bed. She was technically still a patient, but the doctors told her she could leave any time she wanted. After about five minutes of silence, Baluar spoke. -So... how is it? -Not bad. -Not bad? But I put a lot of love into this! - He said in his usual demeanor. -Well... I can't tell. They again began to eat in silence. This time, it prolonged itself in time and lasted for a good ten minutes before being broken by Lina. -I can't deal with this. - She said, her voice sounding exhausted. -With what? -I've never had a relationship. -So? -So?! You have had at least one, probably many more. Baluar burst into laughter. -HAHAHAHAHA! Hahaha, this is magnificent. "Many more". - He laughed for a full minute before choking and end up coughing for another minute. - Ah, damn. You know what, try to guess how many relationships I've had. Not girlfriends, not serious couples, just relationships. I dare you. Lina reasoned that it couldn't be that much, according to his words. -Five? -Pffft. - He ate a bit of milanesa before turning his attention back to her. -6? - Lina couldn't believe she was trying to guess that. -You're getting farther away. -4? - Lina was beginning to wonder if he wasn't toying with her. -Closer, but still no. -3? -Almost there. -Only 2? -Yeah. Only two. So no, I'm not that experienced. -My point still stands. You've got more experience than me. -I was getting help in both cases. Here, I'm alone. - He said. - Metaphorically speaking, obviously. I am here with you. - He quickly added. - Damn, that sounds so cliché. -I just don't know what to do. -Well, this is getting awkward. It's two of us. Just like today's morning. A man like him running out of words. Not something Lina was used to, certainly, but he was much more than he let on, or so he said. -So let's speak about ourselves. That's what movies claim people do in dates, and I see no better way out of this... impasse we're at. - Baluar said after a brief silence. -You go on ahead. -Oh no. Ladies first. -Coward. - Lina thought of how she could synthesize herself in a few phrases. - I hate Fenrir, I love animals, I am terrible at anything related to art, I've always been mocked because I am taller than all the guys... -I bet you're also a fair bit wider than most of them. - Baluar commented. -Their problem. They should work out more. The way I see it, if we're fighting to save the world, we might as well try and have a body that's actually fit for the task. Having what most consider a nice body won't be of any good to you in the battlefield. Not like the women in here... Most of the branch came to see me this evening, in case you're wondering how I know. -Yeah, most of them look like they're lacking a kilogram or two. Or fifteen. -Right? They're almost anorexic. I mean, how much does the silver haired one weight? -... 56 kilograms? I guess. -How tall is she? -... why are we talking of my ex again? - Baluar immediately came to regret those words. And immediately afterwards he stopped caring. She'd have to know it was Alisa, anyway. -That's your ex? - Lina was impressed. She couldn't help but think for a split second how... No, that was completely out of place. Even if no one knew that she thought about it. -That's the woman I was going to get married to, yes. While I'm not happy I had to separate, maybe it was for the best. -Let me guess. It let you be free for me. How romantic... and cliché. -Well, to be honest I was thinking more on the fact that she's pretty much what most would call a bitch... but yeah, there's that, too. -Is it that bad? -Often you don't know how bad something is until you drop it for good. In this case... that proved to be the point. - Baluar said before getting a huge chunk of mashed potatoes on his mouth at once. After swallowing, he retorted: - And you? How come you've got no one in your past? -No one who I was interested in lasted long enough for anything to happen. - Lina answered. While all the deaths were a pain to her, she was long past the point of caring too much for her dead colleagues. - At first all the deaths were shocking. Then I realized I just couldn't care about the fallen anymore. It's probably a coping mechanism... else, I'd probably be insane by now. -Huh. Dealing with death isn't easy. -It's an everyday thing, really. When I became a Lieutenant, I was told I had greatly increased the survival rate of my unit... Even though by that point I was the only one in the Unit who had more than a few months in there. - She stopped for a second. - It wouldn't have been so hard for Fenrir to lend us a hand. -Fenrir helping? Ha! Its head doesn't know what its hands do, the legs are wandering aimlessly and the hands don't know they have fingers. -Nice analogy, isn't it? It probably took you a whole day to come up with that. -Eh, when you're like me you tend not to care about anything else. And the very death we're talking about, but Fenrir does give help here. They still think we're mankind's hope... even considering there's nothing really big going on in here. As I said, Fenrir doesn't know what Fenrir does. -I envy you. -Not for long. You're gonna stay here, remember? -Yeah. - Lina then raised a brow. - You don't happen to be involved in my moving here, right? -Not really. While I won't deny I thought about it when we were fighting together, I wouldn't have done anything like that without your consent. However, you happened to have an undiagnosed... issue, and the best doctors (and Oracle Cell experts) are here. So, you had to be moved here to get treatment. Fenrir might not give a shit about most people, which is crap, but it can recognize who's useful with a glance. -It's nice that being useful saves our lives. - Lina commented while very clearly meaning the opposite. -It's the world we live in. -Yeah. ---- The rest of the dinner (which was not that much) went on silently. Lina only spoke after they both had finished their rations. -Well, time to sleep, I guess. -In here? Ha! The doctors'll love it. Besides, I'm sure these are really comfortable beds. -Honestly, they're tough as a coffin. -Why not come home? - Baluar said. Lina was immediately suspicious. -You're not doing this out of the goodness in your heart, are you? -Of course not. I'm interested in you. But I'm not pushing you into doing it, and most importantly I'm not rushing anything. You take the bed, I'll sleep on the couch. -Sure thing. But if you do something out of place... -You think me that kind of man? - He asked, suddenly serious. Before Lina answered, he laughed. - Hahaha, you're so cute when you're angry. I love it. - Understandably, Lina was not amused by the comment. - Nah, don't worry, I'm a gentleman first and foremost. Well, maybe a sarcastic asshole first and foremost and then a gentleman, but you get the idea... Category:Blog posts Category:Fanfic